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I will be the pig at the feast.I slide open the patio doors and step outside. The chill air makes me shiver under the bathrobe and the friction of the terry cloth makes my nipples stand out, as if I was excited. I walk on the grass towards the pit. The moonlight bathes the backyard in its blue light. The oiled spit gleams on its iron supports over the charcoal filled pit. Dad set it up yesterday, the kindling, covered by the charcoal, and the four long wicks of rolled cotton that sink to the bottom of the pit, to light it. In between the regular charcoal he mixed self lighting one, to make sure it will light up easily. I helped him set it up, another family tradition I could have done without. A can of lighter fluid to soak the cotton wicks sits nearby.I shiver again, and I know it is not from the cold.The eastern sky begins to turn light.I should return to the house but something keeps me outside. After yesterday's party, no one will be up early today.Under the awning, the hardwood. I guess in my own way I've been wondering whether or not things like that really ever happen. And if they do, do they ever happen for people like me. Because you see, more than anything else in the world I wish that I had my own Xmas wish, like that idiot in the movie. And no I wouldn't waste mine on money either. Don't get me wrong, I don't want world peace. The world's economy is already bad enough. We could use a good war about now to crank things back up.And if you're thinking I want to get my family back together again, you're out of your fucking mind. That gang of losers and freeloaders should really stay the fuck away from me if they know what's good for them. I can only think of one thing I'd wish for and strangely enough, I threw it away stupidly myself.Shit! Stupid teenaged girls who don't look where they're going should all be killed. The little bitch is as big as I am and she just tramped all over my foot and kept walking. Holy shit, she's bigger than I am. Was my ass that.
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